I vacillate between hurry-up and don't push me.
There have been times on this unemployment journey that my family has been taking when our apparent 'stuckness' has made me completely batty. In those times I want to invest in a good nail file, dig through some walls, and then scream 'PRISON BREAK!'
(My luck, I would just end up a couple cells down, but I like to indulge the idea.)
The craziest thing though, is that the very next day my husband could put our milk on a different shelf and I would be crying that it was 'all just too much change'.
Hurry-up! Don't push me!
Is this just me?
Not so long ago I drove by a house that a family friend of ours owns, which we were hoping to move into before we settled into our duplex. The situation around wanting to move there was a bit strange, but at the time I just felt very strongly that I needed to ask if it was for rent.
But the owner did mention that they had thought about us living there before, which was nice enough, ya know, because with five forked-tailed children and my husband's horns, we could conceivably come across as a little scary.
As I was driving by this day, I couldn't help but think of how certain I was back then that I was suppose to ask about the homes' availability. Sure it would have been a good fit, but nothing had came of it, so--why, God?
I was content where I was living, and had in fact just made a big push to finally get those lose ends of 'making it home' (remember folks, World's Worst Settle-in-er) tied up, but I was curious if maybe I had gotten it all wrong?
Hours later I receive a text:
'Thought I'd let you know that our house is going to be available for rent…not sure if you are still interested…'
But instead of doing the Happy Dance because of this perfect opportunity that I had really wanted, guess what I did?
The Ugly Cry.
Weeble-Wobble, I know.
I have since recovered and am totally growing excited, but I had to work it out first:
For the first time there is no outside reason to have to make a move--I like it here--it is good enough.
The real issue is whether or not I am listening to His voice. Am I willing to leave my comfortable spot for no-seemingly-good-reason if that is what He calls me to do?
If I believe that God's plan is best, then even 'good enough' really isn't good enough, is it?
So…anyone want to help me pack?
I bet there are a few experts among you who have been called out of their comfort zones a time or two--