Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Carry-on Sized Faith

I have just said goodbye to my fiance.

Did I really just say that I have a fiance?

We met in late September and by February, a suspicious collection of heart candy with a solitary message told me that he wanted to marry me. I said 'yes', but informed him that he'd have to wait until I returned from The Trip that I had no money to take.

He agreed, of course, but I knew that he had done the math and was betting on favorable odds that his girlfriend would be around all summer. Telling the young lady who has just accepted your proposal that she is crazy, however, would demonstrate a serious lack of wisdom.

He'd been smarter than that.

Now that I am seated on my flight, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. This elaborate scavenger hunt of faith feels narrow but right.

I'm sitting in a row of seats, not behind another row, but directly across and facing.

It's the kind of situation that would make you look entirely unsocialized if you did not entertain small-talk or make eye contact with your neighbors, and the sweet couple in front of me are chatty.

They are curious about whatever adventure this twenty-two year-old girl in front of them is on, and they ask good questions--it's a quality that I greatly admire in people, except that this time, I seem to have forgotten to pack my words.

What do I tell them?

That all I really know is that I am on an airplane and that I can get back if I need to?

And yes, I do know how that sounds?

Just days ago, I'd received a gift from people who I had crossed paths with ONCE, and it was only after calling a ticket agency, that I realized that the amount I was given was exactly what I would need for round-trip air fare to Mexico City. I had called the organization that I was to be volunteering with and offered them my next piece.

I was probably less surprised than I should have been that they had said to come, anyway-- that the other pieces would come, too.

My life is so full of questions with answers that I either do not have yet, or are entirely upside down.

The couple waits for me as I search my carry-on sized faith for a reply.

I decide my course.
I tell them the crazy truth.

The older gentleman winks and tells me that they know this place; that they have been there too.

Finally, I am settled and this is where I land.

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